Monday, 10 December 2012

Sleep Well

It’s 1937 again and here comes Nanny climbing the stairs with an armful of hot water bottles for all the family, still smiling as she toils on into the hours of darkness. Dunlop offered a wide range of options utilising the rubber technology developed for high performance car tyres, tempting the consumer with such delights as the non-splash funnel and the Ronoleke patent stopper. To keep your offspring warm and contented, choose from the Animal series – the quaint moulded bodies can be encased in a velvet cover for a premium. What responsible parent could deny their child that additional luxury and safety? For the child of a nervous disposition it might be wise to avoid the disquieting bifurcations of the “Teddy” model with faintly sinister facial features.

Today the hot water bottle is making a comeback as the shivering and penniless citizens of Austerity Britain (version 2) try to save money on their energy bills. Hats off to the Daily Mail, apparently a newspaper, for campaigning to warn us all about the hideous scalding that can result from using cheap hot water bottles imported from that dreadful place, overseas. (I refuse to provide links to the Daily Mail – search for it if you must.) In the interests of security I recommend making your own cover from Osborne & Little fabric supplied by the family firm of the great architect of austerity and Chancellor of the Exchequer. 

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